“So I know this guy…”
So. You know this guy.
Well, I don’t. So if you’re going to tell me a funny story about him, you’d better get all the exposition out of the way in the most efficient manner possible. If I need 45 minutes of backstory just so you can tell me about the time he knocked over your drink, there’s a good chance this isn’t a story worth telling. The payoff needs to match (or top, if you’re feeling ambitious) the setup. If I’m being treated to multiple volumes of this guy’s history, the end of this story had better be fucking epic. Likewise, a short and/or mundane payoff can be made to seem more interesting simply by limiting the amount of time you spend building to it. “Sure, it wasn’t all that great,” your audience will say, “but at least it was quick.”
(Bear in mind that the long setup/disappointing payoff model does have its place in the comedy universe, but you probably can’t pull it off. This is something you will have to accept about yourself.)
Oh, and if you’re going to tell a story, make sure it is actually a story. Don’t just deliver a long, joke-free setup, only to reveal that the big punchline is that this guy totally exists. That is something you do when politely introducing people, not when trying to entertain someone. If you find yourself doing this, your best bet is to switch to dick jokes; everyone likes those, and there are decades of proud tradition to fall back on.
